The average age of perimenopause, the period before menopause, is 45 years, with menopause expected by the age of 51. However, for some women, menopause occurs later, with late-onset menopause considered to be after the age of 55. While this is not a medical condition and is considered to be a natural variation in timing, menopause occurring later in life can bring its own unique challenges for women and their relationships.

Sharmila Dutt, an individual and couples’ psychotherapist and psychosexual therapist at the Evidence-Based Therapy Centre in Galway, explains that menopause later in life can present emotional and practical challenges for a couple, affecting intimacy, communication, and overall relationship dynamics. The exact cause of late onset menopause is not fully understood, but factors like genetics, higher body mass index, reproductive history, ovarian reserve, and lifestyle can all play a role in its timing.

The conversations surrounding perimenopause, menopause, and postmenopausal life are becoming more prominent as women actively support themselves during their menopausal years. However, menopausal symptoms can complicate relationships, as partners may struggle to understand the changes. Dutt emphasizes the importance of educating both partners about the physiological and psychological changes of menopause to navigate this phase with tenderness, empathy, and understanding.

Menopause brings emotional and practical challenges that can strain a relationship, leading to feelings of distance, guilt, mood changes, irritability, loss of libido, physical discomfort, low self-esteem, fear of ageing, and changes in intimacy. Dutt advises couples to prioritize open communication, individual and couple wellbeing, and seeking support when needed to thrive during menopause.

When a woman is struggling with career changes, retirement, or other issues due to menopausal symptoms, Dutt suggests collaborative planning and practical help for couples to adjust their plans and expectations. She stresses the importance of discussing changes in libido, discomfort, and other related issues openly and exploring different forms of intimacy beyond intercourse.

If changes in sex drive are causing distress, Dutt recommends consulting a psychosexual therapist or a doctor specializing in menopause issues for possible interventions. She also encourages couples to prioritize their health together through healthy lifestyle choices, balanced nutrition, regular exercise, and sufficient sleep.

Offering practical support during times of illness or difficult menopause is crucial, and Dutt suggests partners attend doctors' appointments for better understanding and support. She emphasizes the need for open communication, patience, empathy, and understanding as both partners navigate the challenges of menopause, suggesting that small gestures of love can strengthen the bond during this time of change.